A Work in Progress

Have you ever clicked on my About page? If you have, you have seen this:

It's a little empty in there.


When I created the About page, I wrote all about myself, but had to delete it. I was too conflicted about what to say. Of course, I know who I am in respect to what my face looks like, my credentials, how many children I have, their nicknames, where I live, etc. But all those facts just didn't feel right being laid out there in small paragraphs and pretty fonts. It wouldn't be complete.

After another go at it recently and an obvious fail, as it's still empty, I decided that I should probably type something so it doesn't appear that I have given it zero thought. So I typed out Work in Progress and I thought, "that should hold them over until I figure out what I want to write."

And then it hit me.

It hit me like a load of crap. Like the same stinky load of crap that I have been telling myself for years. That I don't know who I am. It's all bullshit. I do know.

I'm a Work in Progress. 

In my life, I have been selfish. I have been hateful. I have been hurtful. I have been resentful. I have been jealous. I have been mean. But I know that's not who I am.

I am a work in progress.

In my life, I have dealt with insecurities. I have battled addiction. I have been abused. I have survived myself. I have followed my heart. But that's not who I am either. 

I am a work in progress.

In my life, I have made beautiful children. I have loved wonderful people. I have made other people happy. I have been proud of myself. I have been selfless. I have been a generous person. But that's not who I am either.

I am a work in progress.

In my life, I sometimes hide. Sometimes I don't like myself. I push everything away and feel shame. Sometimes I can't face the reality that I am not perfect because if I do, then...

I'm just a work in progress, and that feels kind of scary for me.

And today, when I tried to postpone writing in the About page yet again, I realized that my love and dedication to myself, is enough. I write so that I can share my joys, my strengths, my struggles, and my passions with people. I don't have it all figured out yet, and what I do know... It can't be summed up on one page of this blog. I don't need an About page.

You already know me. I already know me.

I am a work in progress, and I'm currently working on being OK with that.