About a month ago, I used my last Christmas gift card to do some shopping for myself. A whole 50 bucks for me! I needed clothes badly. All my clothes are about 2-3-4 sizes too big now, and I have nothing to wear but leggings and big stretched out shirts. I needed some basic staples, that fit.
As I was shopping in the Clearance section of my favorite store (because that’s what I do, and would continue to do even if I was a billionaire) I came across a pair of leopard print skinny jeans. OK HOLD ON… They were like a purple/grey leopard print, so not too tacky.
And NO, I’m not skinny, but I think they would look OK tucked into boots.
AND NO, I have never even considered buying something so bold ever in my life.
And NO, I don't know why, on that day I thought something had changed in my style.
I just LOVED them and something made my hand pull them off the rack and put them in my cart. I love a lot of styles that I would never ACTUALLY wear, but these pants were too cool to leave there. For those that don’t know me, you should know that I LOVE LOVE LOVE animal prints, but NOT on my body. Ever.
I had Pumpkin Pie with me that day and it was nearing lunch time. She was fussy and absolutely can’t handle her life when we are locked in the fitting room. She has to be the WORST dressing room child, EVER. She has opened the door on me and exposed my undies to a crowd. She has crawled out the bottom while I was naked and couldn’t burst out after her. She has somehow locked us in. She has screamed bloody murder so loudly that it couldn’t even be possible that I was using the room to try on a bra. I must have been in there JUST to torture her! Or at least that is how she made it appear anyways. It's not a good scene. Ever.
Anyways, the point here is that I didn’t have time to try on the pants. I just did the “hold them up” thing and they looked about right so I bought them. I think the exact thing that went through my head was “Oh the hell with it. Kelly will be so proud of me for stepping out of my box, and they are only $1.36. LOVE me some clearance items! You can't find pants that cheap at Frenchy's for cripes sake! I will cut them up and make a wallet if they don’t fit!” Oh, and Kelly is my baby sister who isn’t a baby, but a straight up fashion diva. She's always up to date on the cool trends in fashion, which I am never up to date on. I envy her. I thought if anyone would appreciate my spontaneous purchase, it would be her.
So I brought the pants home and tried them on. They were a bit snug, but they fit! I took them off and hung them in the closet. That is where they have been ever since. I know. I suck. I try them on all the time and try and try to at least wear them around the house, but even that makes me feel weird. I don’t know what it is about them but I feel so WEIRD in them. They frigging fit like a glove. I mean, they were made for me, but I feel like they look stupid on me. When I see other people wear pants just like them I think it looks so fun, but on me I doubt that I can pull them off. Hubby says they look hot. But this is coming from the man that thought I was hot when I was nine months pregnant! What does he know!?
I hadn't even thought much about my pants until I was staring them in the face on Saturday morning. I was getting ready to go to run errands in town, and had just literally peeled off my three day old leggings (do NOT judge me). I knew from the minute I spotted them in the closet that they were going to be my comfort zone bust for the day. They HAD to be. Enough really was enough this time.
"There is no better time than the present" I told myself. I put them on, walked downstairs and put on my high leather flat boots. I put on my coat. I summoned to Bear that we were leaving. I kissed Hubby good-bye. I walked OUT the door and got in the car. I drove to town. Got OUT of the car and walked into a store. All the while feeling pretty nauseous but still functioning.
You will never guess what happened after only being in the store for about 3 minutes!
I got a compliment. Yup. The young lady that works there came right over to me and said, “where did you get those amazing pants? They are so awesome!” I nearly died. I was hoping that I still looked invisible, but clearly I didn’t. I told her where I got them and because I know her pretty well, I told her about my mission and how wearing these pants was part of it. She laughed and told me that I can pull them off for sure, they looked awesome. Hmm? Imagine that!
I tell myself that I really don't care what people think of me, but it’s not always true. No one wants to be laughed at or embarrassed and I felt that there was a real good chance of that happening with those pants on. I think this experience taught me that MY OWN opinion matters the most and I have to do what is right for ME more often. AND I need to take more risks. I'm such a wuss. It really shouldn't have taken me that long to put those pants on. They are cool and I love them. I'm a cool mom. Easy.
On the drive home, Bear and I cranked the tunes and sang the whole way. God, I love that child. She is so free spirited and by the way, she absolutely LOVED my pants. When we pulled back into the driveway, I couldn’t help but think about all those mornings that I told her to go back upstairs and change her clothes before school because her shirt didn’t really “go” with her pants.
Who was I to be handing out fashion advice? I couldn't even wear a pair of leopard print pants down the stairs to the living room! She was totally comfortable wearing polka dots with stripes. To he honest, I've seen worse fashion crimes in my days.
Not only have I been holding MYSELF back from expressing myself through my clothes, but I have been doing it with my child as well. BUT HAVE NO FEAR, those days are over. She will be expressing herself through her clothes whenever she wants. I won't say a word. Well, until she's 16 and trying to wear one of those headband skirts. THEN the fashion police in me will be back out in full force. (Please pray with me that overall jeans and turtle necks are back in style by that time, and that they have made those "skirts" illegal)
Oh, and IF you ever see me sporting my leopard print pants out in public, you don't need to bother paying me a compliment. I already know I'm rockin' them!